#webdev - OS X El Capitan and Java

OS X El Capitan and Java: No Fun (till now!)

There's been a bunch of stuff on the interwebs lately about El Capitan and Java issues... here's the simple simple, condensed version of the fix:

Quick prereq to the post:

I have, for some time, had the following line in ~/.bash_profile under my login on my machine:

export JAVA_HOME=/Library/Java/Home

I see it this way... /System/Library/Frameworks/JavaVM.framework/ relies on a set of symlinks that, in turn, rely on /Library/Java/Home being another symlink that points to the Home directory of an installed JVM. Changing the /Library/Java/Home symlink ensures that all of that other machinery (legacy or otherwise) continues to work correctly.

At the very least with this setup typing "java -version" at the command line gives me the version I'm looking for. And swapping symlinks to point to real disk locations is fairly easy... it makes it MUCH easier to change JVM versions. Just repoint the symlink to

/Library/Java/JavaVirtualMachines/{jvm_folder}/Contents/Home

and Bob's your uncle... it's done. And no other changes necessary.

So I selected to base this all on /Library/Java/Home being The Correct Location For The Current JVM.

As I said... the above line is in a file called .bash_profile under /Users/{username}. If you have to create it be sure that afterward you open terminal and run

cd ~
chmod u+x .bash_profile

and then restart terminal. That will ensure that JAVA_HOME is always set when you hit Terminal. This makes many things lots easier, but most of all, since most Java packages will check for JAVA_HOME and only go looking for a JVM if not set, it gives you control over the Java version being used to run whatever it is you are trying to run.

So...

That's why I chose to set JAVA_HOME to /Library/Java/Home and proceed as I have.

Download and install Legacy Java 6SE from Apple:

https://support.apple.com/kb/DL1572?locale=en_US

Download and install Java 8 JDK from Oracle:

http://www.oracle.com/technetwork/java/javase/downloads/jdk8-downloads-2133151.html

Change a system symlink to make the Java 8 JVM the command line default:

cd `echo $JAVA_HOME`
sudo rm Home
sudo ln -s /Library/Java/JavaVirtualMachines/jdk1.8.0_60.jdk/Contents/Home ./Home

Once done, test with the following command on the command line:

java -version

If you've done the above correctly your Java apps will launch and your command-line tools (oh, like launching Tomcat) will automatically use the latest JVM.

OH, also... once you've installed the Java 8 JDK you may have to do two other things:

Edit the Java JDK PLIST 

Edit the file at /Library/Java/JavaVirtualMachines/jdk1.8.0_60.jdk/Contents/Info.plist to be:

<key>JVMCapabilities</key>
<array>
<string>CommandLine</string>
<string>JNI</string>
<string>BundledApp</string>
</array>

Add a symlink to point to libserver.dylib

It seems the Oracle installer doesn't create a necessary symlink for the JDK, so you'll need to copy/paste the following commands (there's 2 of them, btw):

sudo mkdir -p /Library/Java/JavaVirtualMachines/jdk1.8.0_60.jdk/Contents/Home/bundle/Libraries
sudo ln -s /Library/Java/JavaVirtualMachines/jdk1.8.0_60.jdk/Contents/Home/jre/lib/server/libjvm.dylib /Library/Java/JavaVirtualMachines/jdk1.8.0_60.jdk/Contents/Home/bundle/Libraries/libserver.dylib

Give thanks to Oliver from Australia!

Dude is my hero and this wouldn't have happened without his blog post. However he's missing the J2SE 6 install and download and has a bunch of other stuff in there that isn't really relevant anymore.
So, dude... here's your linkback:
https://oliverdowling.com.au/2014/03/28/java-se-8-on-mac-os-x/

Trying to help the normies relate...

So today I am in pure pain... knees, ankles, wrists, elbows, back and neck.

Jenna asked if I wanted to go to her Lyme Disease Support Group meeting today and I declined not because I didn't want to go but because the thought of sitting in a conference room chair for 3 hours just sounded like something I wasn't up to. I think this is the first time I've decided not to go to an even because I knew my pain was too high.

And what the hell is with my elbow? It's not like it even gets much stress... and yet it's at a solid 3-6 (it randomly shifts) with spikes to 8-ish. Why? I have been babying it a bit... I think I need to get a neoprene wrap for it just for the compression.

For those of you that don't understand or have a challenge relating... think of the day after a heavy, heavy workout: the pain not just in your muscles but how it's amplified whenever you use those muscles. Now take away the workout (i.e. it's for no reason other than being alive), make that pain spike come from something as simple as lifting a coffee cup or even a fork, put in every commonly used muscle in your body, and your tendons and ligaments and joints... and then make it all day every day.

Now take away the chance that Tylenol or ibuprofen will do much for the pain.

That's a GOOD day. On a bad day we have joints popping out of sockets and cartilage crunching and/or tearing all over the place.

Maybe you can sort of start to kind of relate in a tiny way? 

In other news, I have some blog posts coming up that should be a little more uplifting. I have been giving some energy to my other hobbies/interests/passions and have realized that I should be sharing some of those things here too. So... that'll be fun!

I've discovered that swimming in the pool with the childebeast is getting more and more fun all the time... my swimming is improving and my upper body is developing a bit. That's really cool.

Now I just have to keep my ass in gear getting some real work done so I can make the living I need to make to pay for insurance and a decent diet... and hopefully get us out of this apartment into a real house someday. :)

Laterz, all!

Bet you thought I was gone!

I know, I know... bloggers come, bloggers go. I got off to a good start, but then... crickets.

Did you think I gave up? Wrong! Hah! Fooled you. *wink*

So here's last couple weeks in review:

A couple weeks ago my employer, Vemma, was raided by the FTC. If you were to look at the actual list of things I expected to happen to me in my life, working for a company raided by the feds was NOT on it. In any case... they shut us down on the spot. Fortunately I had a freelance gig in place and was able to keep working, though it really messed up the flow of life.

I feel very fortunate.

But then in the subsequent days I found out my posterior cruciate ligament (aka PCL) - one of the major ligaments to hold your upper and lower leg together, is likely torn, possibly entirely severed.

So I'm now on crutches and pain meds. Yay.

I never really realized just how much pain I'm actually in all the time until I started taking pain meds regularly. On the other hand my primary care doc's office told me they won't prescribe ongoing pain meds for chronic pain patients... which really makes you wonder what they're there for other than to tell me that a cold is a virus and drink fluids. Hell I can take my own BP at home.

Sheesh... whatever...

And then just to top it all off, our last checks from Vemma were delayed by 3 days because the law firm that is running the company while it's in receivership screwed up and played blame games with the bank rather than getting payroll done on time. What was supposed to be here Thursday morning wasn't here until this morning. Way to add insult to injury, guys! lol

On the other hand everyone is still alive, the pain meds have kicked in and I have a wonderful family that loves me. I don't suppose it gets much better than that, with or without the EDS issues. :)

Anyway... it's been a rough couple of weeks. Sorry for the blackout... here's to keeping up better in the future.

Laterz!

When coworkers join in the fun...

So I know this has all been kind of heavy so far... I figured it's about time for a quick, light post, but I was having trouble thinking of something like that. Then today something happened and I was like EUREKA! I got one!

So... at work we are organized in the "large open workspace" pattern. Apparently Facebook's corporate offices are organized this way as well. We don't have cubes or offices... just a big room with rows of workstations. And I'm on crutches. And crutches go "click-clack" with every step.

And we don't really have any sort of acoustic management in place. Sound carries.

Anyway, the QA department supervisor sits in the same bay as I do. She mentioned in the hallway the other day that you can really hear me coming with these babies. Yeah, no shit. And now she has taken to, when she hears me coming thru our workroom, peering around over her shoulder in the sort of way you would with a little kid playing "I see you!" or peek-a-boo or whatever you want to call it. I slow down and act like I'm trying to sneak up on someone... we both smile.

I know it seems silly but it's kind of fun, it breaks the monotony and it makes me feel a little less like a freak for being on crutches without any visible cast, braces, wraps or anything of the kind.

I joked that with these crutches I remind myself of the crocodile from Peter Pan and she laughed and said said something like "I knew exactly who you meant before you even finished..."

It's kinda nice to feel connected to my surroundings... not in spite of but because of... my condition.

Brainfog+Fatigue=Cranky Ass Bastard

To my family,

I'm sorry I'm a cranky ass bastard sometimes. I'm sorry I'm short tempered. I'm sorry I snap and act like you're an inconvenience. You're not. I love you fiercely. I would give my last drop of blood for you.

That said, I'm sure you don't want my last drop of blood, you want to know if I want green beans or corn with supper, or to know when we're finally going to go down to the pool, without the sharp, snappish response. You want me to be jovial, gentle, respectful and considerate...

And I am! We have fun and we laugh and we go swimming and life is good! Generally. But those little moments, the moments in between things, when I'm just trying to continue existing and you want to know what time I think we should leave for that thing on Sunday... in those moments...

I'm a cranky ass bastard. I snap. I bark. I find myself launching into (usually short, thank the gods) little tirades about how I don't like being bothered with that sort of thing. And then I realize the shit that just came out of my mouth and I... Jesus... I don't know... I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I don't know how to proceed without sounding like a typical ass who just makes excuses.

I don't want to make excuses.

I am fundamentally conflicted, riddled with guilt and, while self-loathing may be a bit strong, some days it's not far off. I don't know how to do so many things. How to be so many things I think I'm supposed to be. All I know is that I am flawed and human and do my best and most of the time that seems so horrendously inadequate I don't understand why you're still here.

Maybe I just want you to understand so you will keep being here.

I don't know how to tell you that getting up, getting dressed and going to work, making it thru the day and then back home without 3 wrong turns is so exhausting and overwhelming that I have no filters. I have no defenses. Shields failed. What you see, for at least as long as it takes for me to spit out the words "I don't fucking care about vegetables right now", is pure, unfiltered, me. That's where I'm at and I don't have any way to keep it from leaking onto you... and that's not OK.

It's not OK with me, anyway... I should never be a cranky ass bastard. It's just not right.

But I can't stop it any more than I can stop my knees from giving out or my skin from peeling off. It's a byproduct of being in this body and all the challenges that entails.

It's not fair. It's not fair to you that I expose you to that side of myself. And it's not fair to me that I end up bearing the guilt that comes with doing so. I but I don't know how to keep it at bay. I am a super hero, gifted with the strength it takes to drag this body thru a day that would kill almost anyone else, but that strength ends up so taxed that the people closest to me are the ones to suffer the direct impact of my weakness.

I love you. All of you. So much. And it kills me that I can't make everything perfect for you.

I'm sorry.

"I have Ehlers-Danlos" or "Dealing with skeptical providers GAH!"

When you're dealing with health care providers and you have a little-known condition with lots of side issues and alternative symptoms and... well let's just say that some things are highly individualized. What EDS looks like in my body is drastically different (save for a few commonalities) than what EDS looks like for someone else.

For example... I have very large, very strong skeletal muscles. Even on a bad day I can pick up 250-300 lbs and carry it away. Well, not right now, but that's because I am currently on crutches for my knee. So for me, big joint hypermobility is not generally much of an issue. Muscle development and chronic joint damage and inflammation have worked together to give me a lot of painful, but functionalish/stablish, joints.

I mean sure... my hips sublux from time to time, my knee needs to pop 3-15 times a day and my elbows lock occasionally. But your average clinical exam isn't going to show something  like that, because for me the issues all crop up when the joints are under load. On the other hand, it's easy to spot laxity issues when you have joints like a friend of mine whose knees will bend to 90° - in any direction. Or my aunt whose hip joint deteriorated to leave her with no ball in her ball-and-socket joint.

Same condition... different expressions.

So I am on the table at physical therapy and my therapist says "I'm not really seeing a lot of joint laxity here". So then I have to explain myself to this guy, the guy with the Masters degree and 5 years in the field. I brace for the skeptical look... the cluck in the throat and the dismissive roll of the eyes. I brace myself to have to deal with being branded as "yet another know-it-all looking to have someone solve their problems."

So I have to explain that sure, my knee seems "normal" when you do a typical PT-style clinical exam.

That doesn't mean that my cartilage is normal.

That doesn't take into account that sometimes as often as every 5 steps I have to pause and "do that thing with my toe and ankle" to pop it so I can keep walking.

Nor does it take into consideration that your little tugs and twisties are a HELLUVA lot different than what my knee does when it has 340 lbs of me bouncing up and down on it for 4500 steps a day (love my iPhone lol).

But none of that negative nonsense actually comes. This guy listens.

Fortunately he is willing to learn. He's willing to take it in stride that he doesn't know everything and learn, study and help me work on what's ailing me. A therapist like that is worth their weight in gold and I am immensely grateful for him and his willingness to work with me.

It's a blessed relief and a shift from the norm of dealing with providers who would really prefer NOT to have to deal with anything unusual.

A helpful, useful link (and a little cynicism)

One of the greatest challenges we face is being understood by people who have no matching context from which to view us. That is to say:

There's no fucking way they could relate even if they wanted to.

And so they try. They say things they think are sympathetic and connecting, like "Yeah, know exactly how you feel. I sprained my ankle last summer."

So, for those who you feel are worth the effort, I provide you this link I obtained from a friend in one of my favorite EDS groups on Facebook:

http://ohtwist.com/about-eds/comorbidities/

Give them that link and watch their faces cloud as they try to think of something sympathetic and connecting to say, then give up on trying to relate and go with "Well, good luck."

I'm honestly not sure which is harder, being us or being close to us with no way to relate.

What do you think?

Laterz!